Monday, January 25. 2010
David Krueger MD
- This question came up in a
discussion with some coaches I am training. The obvious answers
include understanding human dynamics, strategic planning, playing a
bigger game, a good return on investment, an accountability partner,
a secret weapon in business.
- But for the coaching engagement
to really make a difference for the client, to go beyond
expectation, I believe it takes something more and different.
-
- The role of storyteller and
listener unfolds on the shared lap of the coaching relationship.
Part of the experience of story making
is the feel, the safety, the trust, and the ambiance of
connectedness. The resonance of voice as well as words with a
knowing receiver. As Lily Tomlin said, “He listened with an
intensity most people have only while talking.”
-
- What, I believe, clients want
from a Professional Coach:
- Unselfconscious participation in
serious work, and sometimes in play
- To understand their metaphors as
the symbolic language that expresses the hidden wisdom of the
unconscious
- Acceptance of praise without
embarrassment or deflection, so that we can give it back to its
creator as a self-statement
- Empathic resonance with his or
her feelings, without taking anything personally, to never lose
sight of the client’s perspective and best interest
- To hope that we see the self the
client hopes to become, and focus on the evolving new story that
sometimes gets obscured from the client’s view
- To see a thought, a feeling, or
a behavior as an answer to a question its creator has not
consciously dared to ask
- To recognize the silent intent
embedded in the compromised result; to see the possibility
camouflaged in the frustrating process
- To hope that the coach will not
be awkward, self-conscious, or say anything that would distract from
the client’s flow and focus
- To believe in the client until
the client teaches both of us why
- This architecture of trust
silently forms while you talk about other things. The co-created
new story gives oxygen to hope, highlights the relief and release of
new experience, and pushes creativity to full flight.
-
- A strategically informed new
experience includes the formulation of a new model in which to
understand and incorporate those changes.
-
- Old stories have to be mourned.
And along with them, the self left behind. No matter how ready
someone is to change, to give up a long-practiced habit is like
saying goodbye to an old friend. Julia Cameron said it beautifully
in The Artist’s
Way: “I’m
astounded that I could let go of the drama of being a starving
artist. Nothing dies harder than a bad idea.”
-
- Dave is Founder and Director of New
Life Story™ Coach Training www.NewLifeStoryCoaching.com
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